Taking Responsibility VS Taking Control

Dear Learners,

My father recently sent an article to me titled “Take Responsibility For Your Life”, it is a motivational speech given by Chris Ross, and you may listen to the audio clip here.

If you are the type to play the blame game,
To play victim,
“Bad things always happen to me”
“I’m not where I want to be because of this person or because of this event”
If you are this type of person, you will never get on in life.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean relinquishing control of your life.
It means taking control.
If someone is stepping over you, 
If a circumstance keeps pulling you back, 
Be able to see it for what it is!
and take MASSIVE ACTION to eliminate that person, or thing from your life.

It means accepting that you ABSOLUTELY played a part in all the negatives in your life to this point, and rather than complain and moan about what went wrong, FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX IT.

What can I do NOW to beat this problem
What can I do NOW to create a life of SUCCESS, a life of ABUNDANCE.
What are the SUCCESSFUL people doing right now and how can I emulate their actions to MIRROR their success.

Taking responsibility is not the same as taking control of your environment. It is about controlling your reactions / response; that’s why it’s response-ability.

I think the best response is to acknowledge that there is no control over things outside of the Self and how others act.

That response is a form of wise humility, knowing the limits of our own capabilities and then working to improve from there, regardless of how other people react to you, and despite your environmental changes.

Those who seek control will find chaos, but those who understand that chaos is the pattern of the universe will find solutions in your own response.

You cannot control and change a ball’s direction once it is already thrown in your direction, you can only respond by hitting back, or dodging it.

A fool cries that he cannot stop the ball and wishes it would not hit him, then gets hit anyway; A wise man sees the reality and knows to instantly seek the right response regardless of how much control he has over the situation.

This, my proteges, is the wisdom of response-ability.

 

The Power of Vulnerability – Brene Brown

Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

Great quote : “Maybe stories are just data with a soul

Brene is an inspiring and sincere speaker, you can hear that each word comes from her heart without reserve. She does this because she is primarily a scholar. She likes to give order to things and that is why she chose her profession as a researcher.

Her framework begins with social connection. She believes that human beings are ultimately driven by our need for social belonging and acceptance. She chose this area to research and stumbled upon a specific emotion that unravels social connection.

Shame & Fear.

The fear of disconnection : Is there something about me that will cause others to disassociate me from themselves?

Brene theorizes that the underpinning issue was vulnerability. She thought that she could champion a movement to oppose or reject vulnerability and after six years of research, even wrote a book on her theories. However she felt that something was not right.

From her research she found that those that has a strong sense of love and belonging simply believed that they were worthy. From this she wanted to do more research on why these people were so secure in themselves. She found that they had this in common : Courage.

Courage : came from the word Kuhr (which means heart) and the original definition meant – to tell your story with your whole heart.

That sense of feeling worthy to be loved, came from courage to be imperfect, they had the compassion to be kind to Themselves first and then to others.

The great lesson in Brene’s research that stumped even a professional like her, is that people whom had a stronger sense of self-worth only had one real difference in their thinking: They were willing to let go of the person they thought they should be, and embrace the person that they are.

They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. It is about the willingness to say “i love you first”, they are willing to put themselves out there for others to accept them or reject them but always in the knowledge that it is fine because they are flawed and therefore it is okay.

Brene initially had a breakdown trying to understand this, because that meant you had to give up control. It also meant that what she thought was the enemy was actually the cure. You can hear her having lots of “em…” and “ahh..s” during this portion because she is practicing what she preaches.

She ends with the point that our society is now trying to numb the part of us that feels vulnerability. However this is also the birthplace of love, kindness, compassion, understanding and connection. We use alcohol, food, and bad habits to fill that hole but the fact is, that hole is meant to be there, like our own mouths, the more you stuff into it, the more harm you’re doing to yourself.

The cure :

To allow your inner-self to truly be seen.

To love wholeheartedly even though there is no guarantee that your love will be returned or even appreciated.

To practice gratitude for being able to be alive and feel at all.

Finally, it is to BELIEVE I AM ENOUGH

Funny Quotes

Image

Especially useful for Emcees or Speakers that need to keep the crowd entertained.

 

e-i-e-i-o is actually a gross misspelling of the word “farm”.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

90% of all statistics are made up.

No one is listening until you fart.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.

We’re not old people we’re recycled teenagers!

Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.

Minds are like parachutes–they only function when open.

Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you they can’t laugh either.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving ain’t for you.

So far so good? so near, so bad.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Seek growth. Be heard. Draw boundaries. Don’t compartmentalise people.

sound Advice

Be comfortable, creature.

What’s the one piece of advice you wish you’d been given in your mid-twenties?

Don’t worry about where or who you’re going to be in five years. Like high school, you’re going to look back and wish you had done so many things differently. Know that and do them differently now. Focus on what’s in front on you. Work on the relationship you have with yourself first. Slow down. Enjoy today. It’s okay to not know. Eat alone in restaurants. Stop trying to prove something. Seek growth instead of validation. Shatter your veneer. Be heard. Draw boundaries. Pull from your Solid Self as much as you can. Sweat. Process (get therapy). Travel. Don’t compartmentalize people. Love fearlessly, even though you’ve been crushed before. Practice gratitude. Eat clean. Toss your scale. Pull yourself out of the victim position. Exercise your forgiveness muscle (you will need this). Don’t be concerned with what…

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