Taking Responsibility VS Taking Control

Dear Learners,

My father recently sent an article to me titled “Take Responsibility For Your Life”, it is a motivational speech given by Chris Ross, and you may listen to the audio clip here.

If you are the type to play the blame game,
To play victim,
“Bad things always happen to me”
“I’m not where I want to be because of this person or because of this event”
If you are this type of person, you will never get on in life.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean relinquishing control of your life.
It means taking control.
If someone is stepping over you, 
If a circumstance keeps pulling you back, 
Be able to see it for what it is!
and take MASSIVE ACTION to eliminate that person, or thing from your life.

It means accepting that you ABSOLUTELY played a part in all the negatives in your life to this point, and rather than complain and moan about what went wrong, FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX IT.

What can I do NOW to beat this problem
What can I do NOW to create a life of SUCCESS, a life of ABUNDANCE.
What are the SUCCESSFUL people doing right now and how can I emulate their actions to MIRROR their success.

Taking responsibility is not the same as taking control of your environment. It is about controlling your reactions / response; that’s why it’s response-ability.

I think the best response is to acknowledge that there is no control over things outside of the Self and how others act.

That response is a form of wise humility, knowing the limits of our own capabilities and then working to improve from there, regardless of how other people react to you, and despite your environmental changes.

Those who seek control will find chaos, but those who understand that chaos is the pattern of the universe will find solutions in your own response.

You cannot control and change a ball’s direction once it is already thrown in your direction, you can only respond by hitting back, or dodging it.

A fool cries that he cannot stop the ball and wishes it would not hit him, then gets hit anyway; A wise man sees the reality and knows to instantly seek the right response regardless of how much control he has over the situation.

This, my proteges, is the wisdom of response-ability.


The Face & The Eyes : Where to Look?

Good Morning Malaysia,

It is Eloquence Academy Body Language Awareness Week and today we will be looking at your eyes and face.

Does maintaining eye contact make you feel uncomfortable ?
Image via Gravity Falls

Eye contact says a lot to both the speaker and the listener.
It shows respect, sincerity, interest , understanding and engaged communication

I found that looking into a person’s face can already feel invasive to some, so direct eye contact can feel much too close and intimate, if you are afraid of what the other might see in you. The fear of rejection and criticism causes us to divert and hide our gaze.

Remember to avoid looking aloof by tilting your chin too high up. Maintain level eye contact and a straight neck. Palms calmly folded in the front and a relaxed focus on the topic, with periodic acknowledgement of the listener.
A great trick to maintain consistent and comfortable eye contact is by looking at the bridge of the other person’s nose. Try it with a friend and ask if they can tell that you are not looking at their eyes.

Here are more tips on the types of eye contact direction, to establish your opinion of your listener.

These are invaluable techniques to get your first impression and starting conversation right. If done right, this allows you to earn trust within a matter of 7 seconds.

Be Observant.

It’s Eloquence Academy Body Language Awareness Week !

Your body is a fascinating and useful communication tool and this week we are encouraging our readers to take more notice.
Messages and ideas can be exchanged in a single glance without a word uttered but how do we know what to look out for and what to focus on ?

Previously, we asked our readers to become more aware of :

  • Voice Clarity & Intonation
  • Facial Expressions 
  • Posture & Proximity 
  • Gestures 
  • Eye Contact 
  • Touch

If you are unsure where to begin do not worry we have found the following site for a little  Observation Training help :) All the best !

Eloquence Body Language Awareness Week

Body language often has great impact in transmitting messages to the listener.

When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you’re saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they generate tension, mistrust, and confusion. If you want to become a better communicator, it is important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and nonverbal cues of others, but also to your own.

tumblr_o4m00hI4aE1r9c2hyo1_500Even the infamous Donald Trump makes use of gestures to get people to listen to him on his presidential campaign. If he can do it, there’s no reason you can’t.

Take our part in our Eloquence Academy Body Language Awareness Week. 

Take notice of the people around you and be conscious of your own expression. Observe the following in your environment:

  • Voice  Clarity & Intonation
  • Facial Expressions 
  • Posture & Proximity 
  • Gestures 
  • Eye Contact 
  • Touch

    Follow us on social media as we share more tips and fascinating stories on non-verbal communication this week.

How To Be Confident: Do Not Be A Robot.


When you sign up for training from a public speaking coach you would expect tips and guidelines on how to be a great speaker. You would expect to be told what to do and how to be in order to deliver presentations “correctly”. The Internet is filled with the usual public speaking tips coaches teach.

Go ahead and Google it. The right postures, the gestures, and the structures all there on the wonderful world wide web. 

It is like putting people into a factory line, putting a new coat of shiny ‘speaker qualities’ on them and expecting them to be successful confident speaker robots.  No doubt the training does improve some people out there but we feel in most cases, it is mostly just a facade. Of course you still need the basic rules but too much instructions and guidelines just stress individuals out. It dulls their personalities which is what we think the main ingredient of a good speaker is.

Eloquence Academy includes tips and skills training as a foundation but after showing students the basics, we focus on them exploring their personality and individual talents to add more favour to their communication styles in everyday interactions. We encourage our students every step of the way in fun drama role-plays and game activities, all with the aim to develop their self-confidence first.

We do not want robots reading scripts on stage, we want diverse and interesting personalities to take the stage and tell their stories. 

Eloquence Academy & Teaching For A Good Cause

“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”
[Chinese proverb]

Earlier this week, our senior coach Laychi Low headed to Cambodia to assist in training young Cambodian volunteers with the Ambassadors for Christ Programme. 

Volunteers received training in English & Drama to sharpen their communication skills.
The short course aimed to assist young Cambodian teachers to develop themselves before moving forward to teaching young students in different schools across Cambodia.


Eloquence Academy encourages and supports community development through self exploration in public speaking and communication skills.

If you would like to work with us or find out more feel free to reach out to us.

Public Speaking & Everyday Life

MicPublic speaking is defined by Oxford University Press as “the action or practice of addressing public gatherings; the making of speeches.”

Public speaking usually brings images of professional settings or formal gatherings, when people think of public speaking they think of a stage with a large audience. If you had no stage or audience to deal with would you still need public speaking skills?

Here at Eloquence Academy we say YES you definitely need to work on your public speaking skills even when you aren’t faced with an auditorium full of people. Although communicating to a crowd is a big part of public speaking, it is not the sole use of the skill.
Wherever you stand should be thought of as your stage and whoever you speak to should be thought of your audience even if it was just one person.

Let’s talk examples. Jenny was a young adult I met, she had never needed to host an event or give a motivational speech to stadium full of people so she never practiced or worked on her public speaking skills. She solely relied on her social skills with her peers. Like most young adults in Malaysia & around the world, we think chatting with friends is all the skill we need. However friendly she was, she still did poorly when presenting her thoughts in class and never stood out in conversations at gatherings. Interviews were particularly tough for her, as she could not make eye contact or deliver her message well. Her lack of confidence came from her dismissal of opportunities to cultivate it and help her grow.

Eventually she started practicing the elements of delivering messages to listeners, first with one friend and then to bigger groups. Eventually she was used to communicating, her confidence built up and she was able to present in any situation fluently and gave respectable impression to the people she met.

Public Speaking is a combination of communication, presentation, entertainment & people skills, therefore practicing it in your daily interactions will serve beneficial to individuals. It is definitely more than just standing on stage.

Keep Improving!

With Love,
Eloquence Academy